Just because we don’t feel confidence doesn’t mean we can’t show confidence. And once we start showing confidence, people will have no reason to think we’re anything but confident.
Increasing self confidence will help us in nearly every aspect of our lives, increasing self-confidence will have everyone seeing us in a more positive light. But if confidence doesn’t come naturally to some of us then we may have to work to build it up. That is, we’ll have to learn how to “fake it ‘til you make it”.
There are always going to be situations that make us feel nervous or not quite on our game. Believe in a few real ways to fool ourselves to fake that confident feeling, and others, into thinking we’ve got the confidence thing on lock down, even when we’re not feeling it.
Write down your most favorite & memorable moments and keep them in a jar
- Give ourselves the credit we deserve. Instead of forgetting those moments, write them on slips of paper, keep them in a jar, and pull a few out when we need to remember just how amazing we are. Highlight our competence to feel confident. Many times, we are good at what we do, but it comes as second nature, and therefore we don’t notice it! A good way to build confidence over time is to keep a log of past successes, in your head, or on paper. Reviewing a list of successes before approaching a new task or situation can make you feel more confident in general.
Increasing our Self Confidence
- I truly believe, the main key ingredient to showing confidence is adopting confident body language. Body language has a lot to do with how others perceive confidence. Stand up straight, throw back your shoulders, and lift your head, creating strong eye contact. When walking, do so with purpose and direction. And always keep a warm, relaxed smile on your face.
- Plus, research shows that holding a “power pose” like this for as little as two minutes actually increases positive hormones in your body, and physically amps up our confidence.
Feeling more confident
- The wonderful and cool thing about showing confidence is that doing so will actually help us feel more confident. Adopting certain body language causes us to feel whatever emotion goes along with that body language. Slump our shoulders and frown for a few minutes, and we’ll start to feel weak and depressed. Stand tall with a big smile on our face, and we’ll increase our self confidence in no time.
Strike a power pose & Dress the part
- When we look good, we feel good, so put on our best suit for an important presentation, wear our most expensive shoes to an interview, choose subtle but bold jewelry when we want to feel more confident. Make sure we also feel confident about all aspects of our appearances, from our hair, and down to the shine of our shoes. Little touches as such will always add a final spark to the complete pulled together look.
Act like you’re qualified, even if you don’t think you are
- I have come across and witnessed people who perhaps aren’t the most competent, but their boundless belief in themselves somehow convinces everyone they are. And yes, be like them. Imitate the greats. Some people exude confidence like the sun radiates heat. Even if we don’t naturally have that aura, we can do a little studying to see what impresses us so much about them, then try to adopt a bit of that ourselves until it rings true . . . Remember fake it until you make it!
Use our manners to our advantage
- Many people mistakenly believe that confidence is about drawing attention to themselves. In my opinion, it is perhaps quite the opposite, the most confident people often direct the conversation to others. When we’re feeling nervous, try complimenting the other person. Even something as simple as, “I adore your shoes,” or “That’s a nice designer handbag,” can go a long way to easing the conversation.
Do things you’re good at
Sometimes doing what we’re awesome at, or even just reminding ourselves that we’re stellar at those activities, this can give us a wave of confidence to ride until we learn to believe it twenty four/seven!
Ask questions when you’re feeling uncomfortable
- If we’re in a nerve racking social situation, try not to shy away from the spotlight, instead turn it onto someone else. Most people love talking about themselves, so asking insightful questions can help them take an immediate shine to you. Plus, even though we may be doing it because we’re nervous, it can give off the vibe that we’re the one leading the conversation, which makes us seem self possessed and in total control.
Head to YouTube before you do something important, such as an upcoming event
- Sometimes seeing someone else be amazing rubs off on you in an inspiring way. Before a big meeting, watch a powerful inspiring person with a worthy speech, or dance along to a latest music video before you go out with friends and steal the night away. The point is to watch something that fills you with the appropriate kind of “I am woman, hear me roar” feelings for the situation you’re about to enter and make it a memorable evening.
Accept compliments instead of deflecting them
- Always respond to comment perhaps with a smile, and a gracious “Merci,” (Thank You) and continues on knowing the compliment was 100% percent true. 🙂
Keep eye contact
- We’ve all been in an interview or other interaction where holding eye contact felt awkward or unnatural. If you ever feel that way, don’t necessarily look away, which can make you look shifty or nervous. Instead, try to concentrate on a thought, or spend a brief moment look at the person’s hands or the items around their desk. This can help project the appearance that you’re still paying attention and engaged, without the awkwardness of direct eye contact. Of course, remember to look away when the conversation naturally breaks, you don’t want to look like you’re staring the person down!
- The glass isn’t half full or half empty, it’s both, depending on your point of view. You can choose to dwell on the negative or focus on the positive. When you want to come across as more confident than you feel, be sure to focus on the positive before and during the interaction.
- When we’re feeling nervous, different parts of our bodies can tense up, and that tension can be felt by others. When you’re feeling nervous, stand up and try to identify where the feeling is in your body. Is it in your stomach? Your legs? Your shoulders? Once you’ve found it, take a few deep breaths and try to send the breath to that area of your body. Then try speaking from that part of your body. You’ll likely see and feel an immediate difference.
- If you have a tendency to pull back or mumble when you’re nervous, practice projecting your voice. Speak just a little louder than you normally would to compensate, and come across more confident. Don’t try to talk too much or direct the conversation. Pay attention and ask questions, and let the other person do most of the talking.
And last but not least . . . Smile . . . Confident people tend to come across as positive and friendly. Smile, even when we don’t really feel like it. The physical act of smiling releases brain chemicals that will make us feel better, and might even compresses some of our nervousness.
What are your best tips for projecting confidence when you’re feeling less than your best? I’d love to get some more tips and examples from you in the comments below.
Bonjour Monday! 🙂